Saturday, July 15, 2006
squid and the whale
Oh yeah, in response to Judd about this movie: I thought it had such potential, but all it showed was the disfunctional side of every relationship in the movie. I felt about it the opposite of what I felt about Munich. In that, I thought Spielberg's editor did nothing about all the unnecessary scenes and storylines, and the movie was way too long for it. It would have been really good otherwise. Squid and the Whale felt way too short, and not funny when it was meant to be but rather disturbing. that being said, I also super appreciated the Museum of Natural History's Blue Whale playing such a pivotal role. That thing used to scare the daylights out of me! I was afraid to go out from under the overhangs by the wall in the sea creatures hall because I was afraid it would fall on me. Sort of like how I would hide under the little desk at the ticket window at the center of the Great Hall at Grand Central Station because I was afraid of high ceilings: afraid my shoulders would grow wings which would be out of my control and fly me to the ceiling and leave me there. For real. That fear lasted a very long time.
tomorrow tomorrow
I've been biting my nails more than ever. And at first it wasn't about what's been going on this week. Tomorrow morning is Christopher and my big meeting at the Ministry of Interior, to get him working papers and health insurance- just some of the benefits of citizenship. If you're not Jewish, this country makes you wait 4 and a half years with an orange "Temporary Resident" ID (the same ID Palestinians who are allowed to work here get) before you get the "full" rights I got upon landing at Ben Gurion last year when I made Aliyah. Of course, even then, I doubt he'd get the 76% discount on a new car or the check in his bank account every month... Right now what we're really interested in is that work permit and health insurance. And they make it hard. We have a stack of papers 3 inches thick to bring in. And still it's not certain, even though we have (seemingly) everything they've asked for- a list that differs depending on whom you talk to and which color paper they give you.
So that's been stressful. But this new offensive up north. Christopher asked me this morning if I didn't think something like this would happen when I moved here. I knew about the suicide bombings, but on our Livnot trip, when I first was here, I heard about the highest tourism rate in 20 years, about the new calm, and the Disengagement seemed to lead towards that as well. I remember a few years ago I played a gig in New Hampshire, and the orchestra put me up with this absolutely lovely couple who had an incredible house on a lake (and the best in-house art collection I've ever seen!). The husband was British and the wife German. One night after a dinner of swordfish, we sat up talking till 1 or 2 in the morning. They told me how they'd each come to the states, and how the US represented the best possible place they could be. Somehow we started talking about Judaism, and they were surprised that a Jew could show so little interest in Israel. Really, before I ended up here, it meant almost nothing to me. A symbol, a source of a lot of names in the prayerbook, but a problem in its decisions and treatment of its neighbors. And anyway, I'd had enough positive Jewish experiences at Havurah and Kol Zimrah and Jews in the Woods to feel like the spiritual home is where the heart is. Simple as that. But then the couple started into how they felt like nothing would end well in the conflict here. "How can it?" the wife asked. "There's no solution." I felt, and very fervently, the opposite. "It has to end well," I said. "There's no other choice."
Hmm. Maybe the first strong feeling I ever had about this place? And now. I'm reading for the very first time all the news text messages my cell phone company sends me (in Hebrew). Christopher and I have watched news clips from the international press, as well as videos from all kinds of points of view put up on youtube.com. Wow, if you want to see some disturbing stuff, read the comments people put up on the videos of Israeli settler violence. One person wrote that seeing that, he understood why Hitler would want to kill all these people. On the other side, there were all sorts of "F*ck Arabs" and throw them in the sea sort of stuff. People feel so strongly about this all over the world, while right in the country it takes a lot to get people to really listen to the news. That's happening now. Thursday night, my quartet rehearsal was punctuated by lots of discussions among ourselves about the escalation. Our roommate Shai is not only watching the news all the time, he's on the phone to friends at the same time, discussing it. He and most of his friends are from the Kiryot, a group of small towns north of Haifa, at least one of which has already been hit (and where my father famously got lost driving at night while he was here visiting with us! The towns are so small and off the beaten path I guess, they stop putting English on the road signs) so you can understand why they're keeping touch so well.
As with my whole connection to this country, I'm reserving judgment until tomorrow. If they don't let my love stay here and work here and contibute all he has to offer to their people, I can't imagine why I would want to stay. On top of that, I don't know if how bad I want to let things get before I get on a plane. I do feel a tremendous, albeit confusing connection to this country. I am smitten, wholeheartedly in love with my quartet more than anything. I am so lucky to get to play with them. I am also so unbelievably lucky that the man I love came all the way from across the world to be with me, and he did think about these things happening before he came! But my family and spiritual center are elsewhere.
So that's been stressful. But this new offensive up north. Christopher asked me this morning if I didn't think something like this would happen when I moved here. I knew about the suicide bombings, but on our Livnot trip, when I first was here, I heard about the highest tourism rate in 20 years, about the new calm, and the Disengagement seemed to lead towards that as well. I remember a few years ago I played a gig in New Hampshire, and the orchestra put me up with this absolutely lovely couple who had an incredible house on a lake (and the best in-house art collection I've ever seen!). The husband was British and the wife German. One night after a dinner of swordfish, we sat up talking till 1 or 2 in the morning. They told me how they'd each come to the states, and how the US represented the best possible place they could be. Somehow we started talking about Judaism, and they were surprised that a Jew could show so little interest in Israel. Really, before I ended up here, it meant almost nothing to me. A symbol, a source of a lot of names in the prayerbook, but a problem in its decisions and treatment of its neighbors. And anyway, I'd had enough positive Jewish experiences at Havurah and Kol Zimrah and Jews in the Woods to feel like the spiritual home is where the heart is. Simple as that. But then the couple started into how they felt like nothing would end well in the conflict here. "How can it?" the wife asked. "There's no solution." I felt, and very fervently, the opposite. "It has to end well," I said. "There's no other choice."
Hmm. Maybe the first strong feeling I ever had about this place? And now. I'm reading for the very first time all the news text messages my cell phone company sends me (in Hebrew). Christopher and I have watched news clips from the international press, as well as videos from all kinds of points of view put up on youtube.com. Wow, if you want to see some disturbing stuff, read the comments people put up on the videos of Israeli settler violence. One person wrote that seeing that, he understood why Hitler would want to kill all these people. On the other side, there were all sorts of "F*ck Arabs" and throw them in the sea sort of stuff. People feel so strongly about this all over the world, while right in the country it takes a lot to get people to really listen to the news. That's happening now. Thursday night, my quartet rehearsal was punctuated by lots of discussions among ourselves about the escalation. Our roommate Shai is not only watching the news all the time, he's on the phone to friends at the same time, discussing it. He and most of his friends are from the Kiryot, a group of small towns north of Haifa, at least one of which has already been hit (and where my father famously got lost driving at night while he was here visiting with us! The towns are so small and off the beaten path I guess, they stop putting English on the road signs) so you can understand why they're keeping touch so well.
As with my whole connection to this country, I'm reserving judgment until tomorrow. If they don't let my love stay here and work here and contibute all he has to offer to their people, I can't imagine why I would want to stay. On top of that, I don't know if how bad I want to let things get before I get on a plane. I do feel a tremendous, albeit confusing connection to this country. I am smitten, wholeheartedly in love with my quartet more than anything. I am so lucky to get to play with them. I am also so unbelievably lucky that the man I love came all the way from across the world to be with me, and he did think about these things happening before he came! But my family and spiritual center are elsewhere.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
diatribes
The other day an old friend of mine sent these questions. I'm putting them up here along with what I wrote back to him because I found them thought-provoking. Anyone reading this, feel free to post opinions or questions.
(Ed:) Hearing constant criticism of Israel here in NY makes me wonder about what the young people in tel-aviv are thinking these days. I know there was that show that parodied Sharon, with a guy in a fat suit, it was supposed be very popular. But are people pissed off at the government? At Abbas? Europe? Everyone? No-one? Have you met any arabs living in tel-aviv? If so are they totally alienated? Or do they feel they are treated fairly? (or are there even any there??)
(me:) People here view the world media as being very pro-Palestinian and anti- Israeli. Israelis are always quick to say that no one criticizes the Israeli government more than they do. Which may be true, but when it comes to actually doing anything about it, there's so much bickering nothing gets done. But also it's really hard, because the media shows them literally nothing of what's on the other side of the fence. They have no idea what it's like to be Palestinian. So when all they see is rockets and bombs and kidnappings, they get all super supportive of the army even though the culture of it seems to be fading. It's easier now to get out of it. In my quartet only one of them served, and she was in the army string quartet and fired a gun once in basic training. People love Sharon, especially since he went into a coma! It's like Rabin all over again, they think they lost the one person who could do the job. What they don't see is that even Sharon wasn't willing to go the rest of the way after Disengagement, to make the rest of the sacrifices necessary, and if anything Olmert was doing better. Now I don't know. The whole thing going on now makes me so angry at both sides- whatever, nothing new. What pisses me off is that it's been all about the kidnapped soldier and the killed settler was like nothing big, because he was a settler so everyone in the world media and in ISraeli media has this attitude like he was asking for it.
And in terms of Arabs in Tel Aviv, I've met none, but I've seen a few, mostly at the University actually. Every time I see them I get happy. This city is so segregated. Or, just Jewish, barely anything to segregate!
In terms of the show with the actor in the fat suit, I think Ed is referring to "Eretz Nehederet," or "Gorgeous Country," which is a really funny fake-news/sketch-comedy show. On my last El Al flight, from Bangkok, they had a little video on the lady who does makeup for it, and showed the brilliant transformations she was able to effect.
By the way, a couple of things. The other day I was at my friends Hilla and Alex's house, and noticed all their clocks were much faster than my cell phone clock. I like to have a couple of clocks set fast to get my butt in gear, but I usually keep that at what I think is "Tel Aviv Mean Time" or whatever just so I know what's real. But more and more it's seemed that that one's been slower than all the other clocks. Now the phone could just be getting slow, or I could have messed up in setting it, but it made me think of how in classical music, A keeps getting higher. When I was a kid we learned A was 440. Now it's almost always 442, and the summers I spent in Germany it was 443, 444, sometimes even 445! It's like the clocks of the world are following that higher-tension pitch trend, and everyone's trying to get there faster.
Also, one of the homesick-type feelings I've felt since I got here was that I was missing out on all the big movies of the last year, since they come out earlier in the states, and I never have time anyway to see them. Well, Christopher and I have been watching a bunch of movies, including some of the big hyped ones. They're all so bad it makes me angry! Like, how's everyone been duped all this time! King Kong sucked. Million Dollar Baby sucked. The Squid and the Whale, which was supposed to be this great independent film made by a guy who normally works with Wes Anderson, one of my favorites, sucked. There are more, but those are the ones that made me most indignant. I'm going to stop reading movie reviews because there must be something in the water that's making people desperate, and liking movies they'd obviously hate if they had any sense. (Now I know I'm being very mean. It's my way or the highway!)
(Ed:) Hearing constant criticism of Israel here in NY makes me wonder about what the young people in tel-aviv are thinking these days. I know there was that show that parodied Sharon, with a guy in a fat suit, it was supposed be very popular. But are people pissed off at the government? At Abbas? Europe? Everyone? No-one? Have you met any arabs living in tel-aviv? If so are they totally alienated? Or do they feel they are treated fairly? (or are there even any there??)
(me:) People here view the world media as being very pro-Palestinian and anti- Israeli. Israelis are always quick to say that no one criticizes the Israeli government more than they do. Which may be true, but when it comes to actually doing anything about it, there's so much bickering nothing gets done. But also it's really hard, because the media shows them literally nothing of what's on the other side of the fence. They have no idea what it's like to be Palestinian. So when all they see is rockets and bombs and kidnappings, they get all super supportive of the army even though the culture of it seems to be fading. It's easier now to get out of it. In my quartet only one of them served, and she was in the army string quartet and fired a gun once in basic training. People love Sharon, especially since he went into a coma! It's like Rabin all over again, they think they lost the one person who could do the job. What they don't see is that even Sharon wasn't willing to go the rest of the way after Disengagement, to make the rest of the sacrifices necessary, and if anything Olmert was doing better. Now I don't know. The whole thing going on now makes me so angry at both sides- whatever, nothing new. What pisses me off is that it's been all about the kidnapped soldier and the killed settler was like nothing big, because he was a settler so everyone in the world media and in ISraeli media has this attitude like he was asking for it.
And in terms of Arabs in Tel Aviv, I've met none, but I've seen a few, mostly at the University actually. Every time I see them I get happy. This city is so segregated. Or, just Jewish, barely anything to segregate!
In terms of the show with the actor in the fat suit, I think Ed is referring to "Eretz Nehederet," or "Gorgeous Country," which is a really funny fake-news/sketch-comedy show. On my last El Al flight, from Bangkok, they had a little video on the lady who does makeup for it, and showed the brilliant transformations she was able to effect.
By the way, a couple of things. The other day I was at my friends Hilla and Alex's house, and noticed all their clocks were much faster than my cell phone clock. I like to have a couple of clocks set fast to get my butt in gear, but I usually keep that at what I think is "Tel Aviv Mean Time" or whatever just so I know what's real. But more and more it's seemed that that one's been slower than all the other clocks. Now the phone could just be getting slow, or I could have messed up in setting it, but it made me think of how in classical music, A keeps getting higher. When I was a kid we learned A was 440. Now it's almost always 442, and the summers I spent in Germany it was 443, 444, sometimes even 445! It's like the clocks of the world are following that higher-tension pitch trend, and everyone's trying to get there faster.
Also, one of the homesick-type feelings I've felt since I got here was that I was missing out on all the big movies of the last year, since they come out earlier in the states, and I never have time anyway to see them. Well, Christopher and I have been watching a bunch of movies, including some of the big hyped ones. They're all so bad it makes me angry! Like, how's everyone been duped all this time! King Kong sucked. Million Dollar Baby sucked. The Squid and the Whale, which was supposed to be this great independent film made by a guy who normally works with Wes Anderson, one of my favorites, sucked. There are more, but those are the ones that made me most indignant. I'm going to stop reading movie reviews because there must be something in the water that's making people desperate, and liking movies they'd obviously hate if they had any sense. (Now I know I'm being very mean. It's my way or the highway!)
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